Depression: The Masked Bandit Looting Your Joy
I was surprised how my heart was stirred by a recent conversation I had with a middle aged man a few weeks ago. He told me he had been struggling with depression consistently for the past 21 years. Sadness began to well up within me as I pondered how long this masked bandit of depression had been his companion. I thought, "did this have to go on for 21 years?" He said, "I imagine I'll be struggling with it for the next 20 years."
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, Major Depressive Disorder is the leading cause of disability in the U.S. for ages 15-44. It seems as if injuries or diseases would be at the top of this list, but depression actually gets the gold medal for the leading cause of disability. We don't need statistics from the National Institute of Mental Health to convince us depression is widespread, we typically know someone who is personally weighed down by it.
When I talk to people about depression, they have a good sense of how it robs them of joy, but there is a common thread of confusion in terms of understanding it. I believe this is the work of the deceiver, who spins confusion to keep the soul in the dark. My hope in this brief post is to shine some light into this darkness, and let people know there truly is hope to take the mask off the bandit and end the pilfering. If you know someone who could be suffering from depression, I encourage you to talk to them about it because people incarnate hope.
Understanding Depression
One can't really describe the inner workings of depression in one phrase, but I believe Christian psychologist Dr. Dan Allender makes a good attempt. In his book The Wounded Heart, he says, "depression can be understood as absorbed, self-annihilating hatred toward the soul for feeling alive and then being disappointed." I'd like to briefly reflect on this statement.
A very wise man by the name of Solomon said in his book of truths, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick (nauseous), but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" (Proverbs 13:12). To feel the passion of hope is to feel alive. Living with hope is also dangerous, because to hope is to be vulnerable to pain. Why? Solomon gives the answer. Hope is the anticipation that desires in the present will be satisfied in the near future. When these desires go unsatisfied, the heart becomes sick or aches. We don't like to hurt, therefore, one way to deaden the ache is to kill the hope. We have all heard people say, "don't get your hopes up!"
These longings or desires related to hope actually come from a glorious place. Their origin is in God and wonderfully woven into the fabric of our being. God has given us longings for intimacy, greatness, beauty, fascination, to be enjoyed, to be wholehearted, and to make a deep and lasting impact. Sadly, living east of Eden and west of Heaven results in the harsh reality of disappointment. People fail to love us in the way we want (injustice), and our temptation is to try to satisfy these longings in unsanctified ways. What's the result? Anger, shame, guilt, and pain.
Over time, the often repeated cycle of desire aroused, hope disappointed, and the soul deadened through angry despair leads to a hatred of desire. It's easier to abandon or snuff out desire with a shroud of despair than to live with the ache of deferred desire. One concludes (consciously or unconsciously) the best solution is to completely shut down, become like a machine, and expect absolutely nothing out of life. What's important to understand is despair is the deception of fleeing from one’s disappointment. This flight from hope coupled with the anger towards the longing self is an attempt at annihilating much of what constitutes the self.
As a result, Dr. Allender says three important truths are lost or denied: 1) the accuracy of one's discernment that injustice has occurred, 2) the legitimacy of one's longing for justice, and 3) the knowledge of what to do when wronged. These lost truths encourage an ongoing pattern of being betrayed by others, feeling hurt, alone, and powerless to do anything about it. Depression becomes the mask covering these real struggles in the soul. Another way to say this is depression functions to mask or escape the painful and terrifying realities in the soul.
Hope To End The Looting
It's imperative to understand that depression deceptively functions to offer relief from the ache inside. As with all deceptions, it doesn't work. That's why I call it the Masked Bandit. A mask covers, hides what is true. To take the mask off or to come out of despondency, one needs to honestly face the loss and terror that seems more painful than the despair. Jesus says, "Blessed are you when you mourn, for you will be comforted." To mourn means to get what's on the inside, out. Do we really believe Him that we will be blessed? Be comforted? Can the Jesus of Gethsemane who intimately knows pain help or bear our burdens? He clearly wants to and openly invites us...."Come to me when you are weary and burdened down...I'll give you rest."
Not only is there hope to deal with the pain, but despair also exposes our true emptiness and the futility of our false pursuits of fullness. If you are looking for fullness in places that never can satisfy, would you want to know? The beauty of Christ is He loves us enough to help us see the futility of these pursuits, and graciously leads us to living water that can satisfy.
I believe this what He is doing with the woman at the well in the fourth chapter of John. She had 5 husbands, and was with a sixth man who wasn't her husband. Jesus sees what she is doing with her thirsts (longings). He graciously, yet truthfully helps her see the futility of how she is trying to satisfy her desires. I imagine she was depressed. If she had seen a 21st century therapist, I wonder if her attempt to find temporary answers to her eternal longings would have been a topic of conversation. Jesus invites her to forsake these empty wells for living water.
Hope has two goals, one earthly and one heavenly. Earthly hope is related to the desire that things are going to get better in this life. It is fragile because sin, decay, and death are just beyond the corner. Heavenly hope finds its source in God, and is related to redemption amidst the decay. Heavenly hope is related to finding our longings satisfied in Christ, and being grateful for how they become the means to understanding and experiencing God more deeply -- His love, beauty, power, greatness, and presence that exhilarates our spirit.
Allender says apart from heavenly hope, earthly hope has only one destination: inevitable disappointment. But heavenly or Biblical hope is rooted in the reality that we will always be with Christ, and He is committed to growing our glory..... that we would deepen in our capacity to reflect His glory (2 Cor. 3:18). This manifests itself in receiving His passionate love, and boldly loving others. This is not an impotent, lonely, hopeless, "maybe things will be better when I retire" kind of journey, but one of love, power, and joy.
The depressed person needs to know God is at work in the circumstances of their life. There is real hope if they, through His strength, take off the mask and allow Him to touch the issues in their heart that steal the joy. I'm convinced they will be surprised how God will use the pain that induces depression to drive these ones to Him. He is a jealous, passionate lover.
Kraig Skistad
If you would like to receive a simple questionnaire to help recognize if you are struggling with depression, send me an email requesting a copy. Email address: [email protected]
I was surprised how my heart was stirred by a recent conversation I had with a middle aged man a few weeks ago. He told me he had been struggling with depression consistently for the past 21 years. Sadness began to well up within me as I pondered how long this masked bandit of depression had been his companion. I thought, "did this have to go on for 21 years?" He said, "I imagine I'll be struggling with it for the next 20 years."
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, Major Depressive Disorder is the leading cause of disability in the U.S. for ages 15-44. It seems as if injuries or diseases would be at the top of this list, but depression actually gets the gold medal for the leading cause of disability. We don't need statistics from the National Institute of Mental Health to convince us depression is widespread, we typically know someone who is personally weighed down by it.
When I talk to people about depression, they have a good sense of how it robs them of joy, but there is a common thread of confusion in terms of understanding it. I believe this is the work of the deceiver, who spins confusion to keep the soul in the dark. My hope in this brief post is to shine some light into this darkness, and let people know there truly is hope to take the mask off the bandit and end the pilfering. If you know someone who could be suffering from depression, I encourage you to talk to them about it because people incarnate hope.
Understanding Depression
One can't really describe the inner workings of depression in one phrase, but I believe Christian psychologist Dr. Dan Allender makes a good attempt. In his book The Wounded Heart, he says, "depression can be understood as absorbed, self-annihilating hatred toward the soul for feeling alive and then being disappointed." I'd like to briefly reflect on this statement.
A very wise man by the name of Solomon said in his book of truths, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick (nauseous), but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" (Proverbs 13:12). To feel the passion of hope is to feel alive. Living with hope is also dangerous, because to hope is to be vulnerable to pain. Why? Solomon gives the answer. Hope is the anticipation that desires in the present will be satisfied in the near future. When these desires go unsatisfied, the heart becomes sick or aches. We don't like to hurt, therefore, one way to deaden the ache is to kill the hope. We have all heard people say, "don't get your hopes up!"
These longings or desires related to hope actually come from a glorious place. Their origin is in God and wonderfully woven into the fabric of our being. God has given us longings for intimacy, greatness, beauty, fascination, to be enjoyed, to be wholehearted, and to make a deep and lasting impact. Sadly, living east of Eden and west of Heaven results in the harsh reality of disappointment. People fail to love us in the way we want (injustice), and our temptation is to try to satisfy these longings in unsanctified ways. What's the result? Anger, shame, guilt, and pain.
Over time, the often repeated cycle of desire aroused, hope disappointed, and the soul deadened through angry despair leads to a hatred of desire. It's easier to abandon or snuff out desire with a shroud of despair than to live with the ache of deferred desire. One concludes (consciously or unconsciously) the best solution is to completely shut down, become like a machine, and expect absolutely nothing out of life. What's important to understand is despair is the deception of fleeing from one’s disappointment. This flight from hope coupled with the anger towards the longing self is an attempt at annihilating much of what constitutes the self.
As a result, Dr. Allender says three important truths are lost or denied: 1) the accuracy of one's discernment that injustice has occurred, 2) the legitimacy of one's longing for justice, and 3) the knowledge of what to do when wronged. These lost truths encourage an ongoing pattern of being betrayed by others, feeling hurt, alone, and powerless to do anything about it. Depression becomes the mask covering these real struggles in the soul. Another way to say this is depression functions to mask or escape the painful and terrifying realities in the soul.
Hope To End The Looting
It's imperative to understand that depression deceptively functions to offer relief from the ache inside. As with all deceptions, it doesn't work. That's why I call it the Masked Bandit. A mask covers, hides what is true. To take the mask off or to come out of despondency, one needs to honestly face the loss and terror that seems more painful than the despair. Jesus says, "Blessed are you when you mourn, for you will be comforted." To mourn means to get what's on the inside, out. Do we really believe Him that we will be blessed? Be comforted? Can the Jesus of Gethsemane who intimately knows pain help or bear our burdens? He clearly wants to and openly invites us...."Come to me when you are weary and burdened down...I'll give you rest."
Not only is there hope to deal with the pain, but despair also exposes our true emptiness and the futility of our false pursuits of fullness. If you are looking for fullness in places that never can satisfy, would you want to know? The beauty of Christ is He loves us enough to help us see the futility of these pursuits, and graciously leads us to living water that can satisfy.
I believe this what He is doing with the woman at the well in the fourth chapter of John. She had 5 husbands, and was with a sixth man who wasn't her husband. Jesus sees what she is doing with her thirsts (longings). He graciously, yet truthfully helps her see the futility of how she is trying to satisfy her desires. I imagine she was depressed. If she had seen a 21st century therapist, I wonder if her attempt to find temporary answers to her eternal longings would have been a topic of conversation. Jesus invites her to forsake these empty wells for living water.
Hope has two goals, one earthly and one heavenly. Earthly hope is related to the desire that things are going to get better in this life. It is fragile because sin, decay, and death are just beyond the corner. Heavenly hope finds its source in God, and is related to redemption amidst the decay. Heavenly hope is related to finding our longings satisfied in Christ, and being grateful for how they become the means to understanding and experiencing God more deeply -- His love, beauty, power, greatness, and presence that exhilarates our spirit.
Allender says apart from heavenly hope, earthly hope has only one destination: inevitable disappointment. But heavenly or Biblical hope is rooted in the reality that we will always be with Christ, and He is committed to growing our glory..... that we would deepen in our capacity to reflect His glory (2 Cor. 3:18). This manifests itself in receiving His passionate love, and boldly loving others. This is not an impotent, lonely, hopeless, "maybe things will be better when I retire" kind of journey, but one of love, power, and joy.
The depressed person needs to know God is at work in the circumstances of their life. There is real hope if they, through His strength, take off the mask and allow Him to touch the issues in their heart that steal the joy. I'm convinced they will be surprised how God will use the pain that induces depression to drive these ones to Him. He is a jealous, passionate lover.
Kraig Skistad
If you would like to receive a simple questionnaire to help recognize if you are struggling with depression, send me an email requesting a copy. Email address: [email protected]