Death and Life: The Power of the Tongue
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." -Proverbs 18:21
Words have power when they enter the story of another person's life. If I were to ask you what words in your life have had an impact on you, I imagine you could identify a few. The majority of us can recall powerful words spoken to us. Words embedded in our minds that move us to tears-- either tears of joy or sorrow. Those words entered us in ways that have meaningfully shaped who we are today.
As I invite you to think about what you say, my greater desire is to spur you on to love the Lord with all your heart. The real Goliath hindering us towards this end is the small member of our body called the tongue. I would wager it is the most resilient area of difficulty. According to James (in the New Testament), when this area of our life comes under the control of the Holy Spirit, every single part of our life is affected. There is much to say about this topic, but I want you to reflect on two ideas: 1) Our words are powerful in the way they daily affect our personal life, and 2) The relationship of our speech to our inner life.
Our words are powerful in the way they daily affect our personal life.
Simply put, our words release life or death to our hearts as well as to others. Speaking life or death is not just speaking and it affects the listener, but speech also creates a spiritual atmosphere that is or is not in agreement with God. People can talk with a kind spirit, yet what they are saying invites the spirit of death to operate even in a small measure. Furthermore, even though we don't see with clarity, the scriptures indicate our speech moves demons and angels. What we say, and how we say it, truly creates a spiritual atmosphere where power is released. We create an atmosphere with our spouse, children, co-workers, friends.....
The most common way to grieve the Spirit is through our words. When the Spirit is grieved, He still loves us, but we cannot receive from Him and participate with Him in the same measure.
"Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit.... Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you." (Eph. 4:29-32)
What is a corrupt word? We all understand the overt, profane, angry curse to be corrupt, but we seldom think of the words we speak out of our frustration. Or more specifically, the tone or spirit that delivers these words. Our frustrations justify and disguise the condescending, self-righteous attitudes that invite death into our relationships. Rarely someone says, "Your so dumb! Can't you get it! Why can't you see this!?! I'm so smart, this is easy!" The same message can be delivered through, "I'm just trying to help you!" A belittling spirit behind this simple phrase can simultaneously put another down while exalting oneself. It's arrogant, and it defiles the speaker and listener. It's not imparting grace. What's typical about the human condition is we are usually aware of when it is done to us, but have a harder time seeing when we do it to others.
Paul says in Colossians, "Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one" (Col. 4:6). The word "always" in this passage is what is troublesome. If we truly take this word seriously, it will make us poor in spirit. My response to this is, "Lord there is no possible way to do this." And His response is, "Good, now we can actually get somewhere... you see the depth of the problem." The reality is when we talk, we are opening the door to what's inside our heart.
Is your speech not only imparting grace, but seasoned with salt? Are people around you thirsty to hear what you have to say? Do they want to listen or are they politely indifferent? "Knowing how you ought to answer each one" isn't so much having the right words, but the tone or spirit behind the words. I wonder if you have insight into "how" people experience the way you talk.
Paul calls us to, "Be imitators of God...and walk in love...sexual immorality and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you...neither filthiness (condescending, angry spirit that puts others down, self-exalting), nor foolish talking (speech in disagreement with God), nor coarse jesting (impure joking, dark sarcasm), which are not fitting, but rather giving thanks...Let no one deceive you with empty words (words justifying compromise), for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience" (Eph. 5:1-6). God calls us to imitate Him and walk in love by purifying our speech (tone and content).
Not only are our words powerfully birthing life or death in our daily interactions, they have a direct correlation with other issues going on in our lives.
The relationship of our speech to our inner life.
"My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment. For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect (mature) man, able also to bridle the whole body" (James 3:1-2).
This is an amazing promise. James teaches that if our speech will be in agreement with the Holy Spirit, we will be able to control our physical appetites. This is an incredible insight into overcoming addictions. People are in bondage to alcohol, food, sexual compulsions, money, laziness, etc., yet are unaware of the relationship of these struggles with their speech.
I believe he who stumbles in word and ignores this struggle is doing two things -- he is grieving the Holy Spirit, and also giving the devil a foothold. Paul teaches in Ephesians 4, mentioned earlier, that if we don't honor God in our speech, we will give the devil a foothold. I don't believe this means to be possessed, but I do believe it opens the door to the "flaming arrows of the evil one" (Eph 6:16) setting these destructive passions on fire. If we are in agreement with any darkness, including our speech, we give the devil access to stirring up these deadly desires in the body. Do you think he will stop at just influencing our speech, and nothing else?
James uses three metaphors (bit, rudder, fire) to emphasize the truth that the tongue as a small member of our body is the key to controlling the much larger issues related to our body, life, and relationships:
"Indeed, we put bits in horses' mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts (in tone and spirit) great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles!" (James 3:3-5)
The tongue releases a fire in our inner life as well as our outer life. "And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell" (James 3:6). James not only is saying the tongue releases fire on others, but fire is loosed in our own soul. One spark from this small member destroys 1000 acres of relationship, and we are inviting the flaming arrows of hell into our inner man.
Even as I write this, I am humbled and challenged. I sense the Spirit saying, "I want you, Kraig, to daily have a sense of the power of your words. You will speak life or you will speak death." I know this isn't just about saying the right thing, it's about what's in my heart....the spirit that delivers the words. I know I can't fake it. I know I can't crank this out. The challenge is to face the energy behind the words and allow the Spirit of Christ to touch that part of my heart. And yet, I have hope. He is a forgiving Father. He is faithful.
Jesus says, "No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People don't pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks" (Luke 6:43-45).
I bet there is someone in your life that you wish would ask you for feedback about how they talk. It's the person who is bothering you. If you want to be challenged in this, ask a few people (including the one bothering you) this week what the impact of your speech is on them. Pay attention to what you feel/think internally when you are listening to them.
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." As you pursue loving the Lord with all your heart, may His grace touch this part of your life, releasing the good fruit of your lips to those who dwell in your vineyard. Those who love it will eat its fruit.
Kraig Skistad
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." -Proverbs 18:21
Words have power when they enter the story of another person's life. If I were to ask you what words in your life have had an impact on you, I imagine you could identify a few. The majority of us can recall powerful words spoken to us. Words embedded in our minds that move us to tears-- either tears of joy or sorrow. Those words entered us in ways that have meaningfully shaped who we are today.
As I invite you to think about what you say, my greater desire is to spur you on to love the Lord with all your heart. The real Goliath hindering us towards this end is the small member of our body called the tongue. I would wager it is the most resilient area of difficulty. According to James (in the New Testament), when this area of our life comes under the control of the Holy Spirit, every single part of our life is affected. There is much to say about this topic, but I want you to reflect on two ideas: 1) Our words are powerful in the way they daily affect our personal life, and 2) The relationship of our speech to our inner life.
Our words are powerful in the way they daily affect our personal life.
Simply put, our words release life or death to our hearts as well as to others. Speaking life or death is not just speaking and it affects the listener, but speech also creates a spiritual atmosphere that is or is not in agreement with God. People can talk with a kind spirit, yet what they are saying invites the spirit of death to operate even in a small measure. Furthermore, even though we don't see with clarity, the scriptures indicate our speech moves demons and angels. What we say, and how we say it, truly creates a spiritual atmosphere where power is released. We create an atmosphere with our spouse, children, co-workers, friends.....
The most common way to grieve the Spirit is through our words. When the Spirit is grieved, He still loves us, but we cannot receive from Him and participate with Him in the same measure.
"Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit.... Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you." (Eph. 4:29-32)
What is a corrupt word? We all understand the overt, profane, angry curse to be corrupt, but we seldom think of the words we speak out of our frustration. Or more specifically, the tone or spirit that delivers these words. Our frustrations justify and disguise the condescending, self-righteous attitudes that invite death into our relationships. Rarely someone says, "Your so dumb! Can't you get it! Why can't you see this!?! I'm so smart, this is easy!" The same message can be delivered through, "I'm just trying to help you!" A belittling spirit behind this simple phrase can simultaneously put another down while exalting oneself. It's arrogant, and it defiles the speaker and listener. It's not imparting grace. What's typical about the human condition is we are usually aware of when it is done to us, but have a harder time seeing when we do it to others.
Paul says in Colossians, "Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one" (Col. 4:6). The word "always" in this passage is what is troublesome. If we truly take this word seriously, it will make us poor in spirit. My response to this is, "Lord there is no possible way to do this." And His response is, "Good, now we can actually get somewhere... you see the depth of the problem." The reality is when we talk, we are opening the door to what's inside our heart.
Is your speech not only imparting grace, but seasoned with salt? Are people around you thirsty to hear what you have to say? Do they want to listen or are they politely indifferent? "Knowing how you ought to answer each one" isn't so much having the right words, but the tone or spirit behind the words. I wonder if you have insight into "how" people experience the way you talk.
Paul calls us to, "Be imitators of God...and walk in love...sexual immorality and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you...neither filthiness (condescending, angry spirit that puts others down, self-exalting), nor foolish talking (speech in disagreement with God), nor coarse jesting (impure joking, dark sarcasm), which are not fitting, but rather giving thanks...Let no one deceive you with empty words (words justifying compromise), for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience" (Eph. 5:1-6). God calls us to imitate Him and walk in love by purifying our speech (tone and content).
Not only are our words powerfully birthing life or death in our daily interactions, they have a direct correlation with other issues going on in our lives.
The relationship of our speech to our inner life.
"My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment. For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect (mature) man, able also to bridle the whole body" (James 3:1-2).
This is an amazing promise. James teaches that if our speech will be in agreement with the Holy Spirit, we will be able to control our physical appetites. This is an incredible insight into overcoming addictions. People are in bondage to alcohol, food, sexual compulsions, money, laziness, etc., yet are unaware of the relationship of these struggles with their speech.
I believe he who stumbles in word and ignores this struggle is doing two things -- he is grieving the Holy Spirit, and also giving the devil a foothold. Paul teaches in Ephesians 4, mentioned earlier, that if we don't honor God in our speech, we will give the devil a foothold. I don't believe this means to be possessed, but I do believe it opens the door to the "flaming arrows of the evil one" (Eph 6:16) setting these destructive passions on fire. If we are in agreement with any darkness, including our speech, we give the devil access to stirring up these deadly desires in the body. Do you think he will stop at just influencing our speech, and nothing else?
James uses three metaphors (bit, rudder, fire) to emphasize the truth that the tongue as a small member of our body is the key to controlling the much larger issues related to our body, life, and relationships:
"Indeed, we put bits in horses' mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts (in tone and spirit) great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles!" (James 3:3-5)
The tongue releases a fire in our inner life as well as our outer life. "And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell" (James 3:6). James not only is saying the tongue releases fire on others, but fire is loosed in our own soul. One spark from this small member destroys 1000 acres of relationship, and we are inviting the flaming arrows of hell into our inner man.
Even as I write this, I am humbled and challenged. I sense the Spirit saying, "I want you, Kraig, to daily have a sense of the power of your words. You will speak life or you will speak death." I know this isn't just about saying the right thing, it's about what's in my heart....the spirit that delivers the words. I know I can't fake it. I know I can't crank this out. The challenge is to face the energy behind the words and allow the Spirit of Christ to touch that part of my heart. And yet, I have hope. He is a forgiving Father. He is faithful.
Jesus says, "No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People don't pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks" (Luke 6:43-45).
I bet there is someone in your life that you wish would ask you for feedback about how they talk. It's the person who is bothering you. If you want to be challenged in this, ask a few people (including the one bothering you) this week what the impact of your speech is on them. Pay attention to what you feel/think internally when you are listening to them.
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." As you pursue loving the Lord with all your heart, may His grace touch this part of your life, releasing the good fruit of your lips to those who dwell in your vineyard. Those who love it will eat its fruit.
Kraig Skistad