“But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions---it is by grace you have been saved.” (Ephesians 2:4-5)
When contemplating the Cross, we are confronted with the contradiction of gazing upon the horrifying act of crucifixion and the beautiful man who freely chose it. If we honestly look at the Father's way of executing His perfect justice, it would seem implausible for us to struggle with the confidence of being forgiven. Yet, even though it is by God's grace we have been forgiven, I find many fail to receive that forgiveness.
We can know that "if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins, and purify us from all unrighteousness" -- but fail to accept it when He hands it to us. Throughout my years of ministry and counseling, I've come to believe this is a significant block for people in experiencing the wholeness they long for. The unresolved guilt can lead to physical problems, anxiety, depression, perfectionism, passivity in relationships, and a sense of being disqualified as a minister of the gospel.
How do we know when the failure to receive forgiveness is a real block? There are a number of things going on with this, but I want you to briefly consider two root causes.
First, there are many who continue to live under the law. They obviously don't say that, but it manifests in them as not feeling "good enough" and striving to perform better. The man "under the law" will continue to feel guilty and doesn't receive forgiveness because he is trying to find acceptance on his own merit. He typically is unaware of whose righteousness he is trusting in, and has listened to many voices (himself, culture, parents, friends, etc.) telling him to look to himself and/or get it right. This inevitably leads to a subtle or not so subtle contempt for oneself.
The attitude of the one who suffers under the law shows itself spiritually in a number of ways. One I often hear is, "I know God forgives me, but I can't forgive myself." Usually, when I agree with them and point out they never will be able to forgive themself (forgiveness requires death), the real issue emerges---the failure to receive God's forgiveness. This failure is veiled by the pride of pursuing acceptance apart from Christ. It is a subtle denial of grace.
Romans 10:4 says it well, "Christ is the end (fulfillment) of the law so that there may be righteousness for everyone who believes." What a glorious day it is when the soul realizes and experiences the liberating truth that the law has been completely satisfied. Guilt can fully be released, and I can feel the confidence and pleasure of God's love touching my heart.
If the first problem is the hidden denial of my righteousness, the second one might best be described as the denial of my unrighteousness. That sounds like a paradox, and because it is, this truth causes us difficulty. Christians say they are sinners, but on a practical level, many (purposely or passively) neglect this reality. Who wants to talk about sin? It makes people feel condemnation and shame, isn't uplifting, and typically is boiled down to simplistic, legalistic patterns of behavior. To talk about sin in some Christian circles is to be labelled with a religious spirit. Thus, one's tendency is to disconnect from this reality (and many times re-connect to unreality).
The trouble with this is when believers don't ask God to show them their sin (Ps.139:23-24), they can't confess it to Him and receive His forgiveness. Thus, they go through life feeling guiltier and guiltier, completely disconnected from the reason why. Others, rather than feeling guilty, become prideful and cause those around them tremendous misery. The pharisee in them strengthens and they become experts at legalistically pointing out the sawdust in the eyes of others while completely ignoring the log jam in their own. C.S. Lewis said, "If the Divine call does not make us better, it will make us very much worse. Of all bad men, religious bad men are the worst."
Another stumbling block people can have in this area is their inability to name what the sin is. People have an awareness of guilty feelings, yet are unaware how the feelings are connected to sin in their heart. The modern Christian appears to have lost the understanding of sin and how it practically functions in the human heart. Christian theologian and historian Richard Lovelace offers us tremendous insight into this problem (this quote is long, but worth your read):
“During the late nineteenth century, while the church's understanding of the unconscious motivation behind surface actions was vanishing, Sigmund Freud rediscovered this factor and recast it in an elaborate and profound secular mythology. One of the consequences of this remarkable shift is that in the twentieth century, pastors have often been reduced to the status of legalistic moralists, while the deeper aspects of the cure of souls are generally relegated to psychotherapy, even among Evangelical Christians.
The structure of sin in the human personality is something far more complicated than the isolated acts and thoughts of deliberate disobedience commonly designated by the word. In its biblical definition, sin cannot be limited to isolated instances or patterns of wrongdoing; it is something much more akin to the psychological term complex: an organic network of compulsive attitudes, beliefs, and behavior deeply rooted in our alienation from God. Sin originated in the darkening of the human mind and heart as man turned from the truth about God to embrace a lie about him and consequently a whole universe of lies about his creation. Sinful thoughts, words, and deeds flow forth from this darkened heart automatically and compulsively, as water from a polluted fountain. ‘The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually" (Gen. 6:5). This is echoed in Jesus' words: "Either make the tree good, and its fruit good; or make the tree bad, and its fruit bad; for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! how can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil man out of his evil treasure brings forth evil’ (Matthew 12:33-35).
The human heart is now a reservoir of unconscious disordered motivation and response, of which unrenewed persons are unaware if left to themselves, for ‘the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately corrupt; who can understand it?’ (Jeremiah 17:9). It is as if they were without mirrors and suffering from tunnel vision: they can see neither themselves clearly nor the great peripheral area around their immediate experience (God and supernatural reality). At the two most crucial loci of their understanding, their awareness of God and of themselves, they are almost in total darkness, although they may attempt to remedy this by framing false images of themselves and God. Paul describes this darkness of the unregenerate mind: ‘Now this I affirm and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds; they are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart’ (Ephesians 4:17-18). The mechanism by which this unconscious reservoir of darkness is formed is identified in Romans 1:18-23 as repression of traumatic material, chiefly the truth about God and our condition, which the unregenerate constantly and dynamically ‘hold down.’ Their darkness is always a voluntary darkness, though they are unaware that they are repressing the truth.” (Dynamics of Spiritual Life, Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1980, pp. 88-89).
If one is unable to name the sin, how can he confess it to God and receive the gift of forgiveness? Is it any wonder that the key to healing is ongoing repentance and forgiveness? (James 5:16).
Martin Luther was a man in turmoil until God's spirit helped him honestly reconcile these truths. I am a sinner. I am a saint. After he experienced healing in this, he said of the Christian that "he stands at one and the same time a sinner and a justified man." Acceptance of this truth was significant in delivering him from incredible fear---the fear of always trying to win God's approval, of never being quite able to keep the law. Actually receiving God's forgiveness has a way of uniting humility with gratitude.
As you gaze upon this ghastly cross and see the beauty behind the blood, I pray you have the courage to ask the Holy Spirit to show you the depth of your sin, and then receive His forgiveness. May your heart experience the passion of being "made alive with Christ, even when you were dead in transgressions."
Kraig Skistad
The Failure To Receive Forgiveness